When you are feeling bad, do you tend to ignore or suppress what you’re experiencing?
Some of us are reluctant to admit when passing through a challenging situation, out of fear that it will get worse.
In reality, what happens is the contrary. Research shows that emotions get stronger when pushed aside or ignored. Psychologists call this amplification.
If you are not a psychopath, you have all emotions. Be proud of it, don’t deny them.
By denying their emotions, someone is more to lock down into rigid responses to them, like being trapped by their own emotions. Act smart and show them who is in charge!
That comes to Emotional Agility, which is much more than just acceptance of emotions, but rather moving from the rigidity of denial for true resilience and thriving.
At the end of the day, who is entirely free of getting stressed, hurt, or never experiences the disappointment that comes with failure? Remember: you are not alone!
Name it to tame it
When we are open to difficult emotions, we are more able to discern the precise cause of our feelings and generate responses aligned with our values.
Emotions originate from a primitive and powerful part of our brain, often called the limbic system.
When someone thinks that they are acting rationally by suppressing their emotions, the part of the brain activated for it is called the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for such a cognitive behavior.
Nevertheless, the limbic system is just strong enough, and the emotions are still stuck there. Yet you can trick it by simply naming how you feel in those situations.
If you ask yourself ’What am I feeling?’, and if the answer is ‘I’m feeling sad’, the brain shifts its focus away from the limbic system to the prefrontal cortex, which also functions for emotional regulation and decision-making. And this moves someone from overthinking to actionable steps.
The important thing here is avoiding saying “I am” because you are not your emotions, as they are only a data source, and not getting yourself convinced that you would be the personification of that tough emochallengingor feeling.
“We Are Not Thinking Machines. We Are Feeling Machines That Think.” (Antonio Damasio)
Furthermore, to identify what is getting you off track from your values, you can ask yourself “How am I getting in my way?”, so the prefrontal cortex is activated, which likely allows you to learn from mistakes.
And this enables you to become more resilient, and ultimately thrive!
If you think you’re in control of unwanted emotions when you ignore them, in fact, they are controlling you. Need help with it? I’m just one message away! Click now here!
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About me: I’m a High-Performance Coach who uses a Neuroscience-based method to support you in Achieve More with Mental Well-Being.
